Do you ever find yourself longing for something specific? A deep-rooted desire for something so so particular? This afternoon I just sat in my bed after studying for a while and thought to myself all about how far the Lord has brought me in the past few years. How He’s completely changed me through and through and molded me into the young woman I am today who still sins and still has so much room to grow to be more like the Creator.
All last year I struggled with a deep loneliness that reached my core, and I let it completely consume me. None of my friends came to Texas A&M with me and my then-boyfriend went to school far away, so I found myself completely alone. Instead of crying out to God, I compensated with other things like school, blogging, my career, and my boyfriend. I tried so hard to fill that aching hole in my heart with everything except my sweet savior – and for a while it worked. I was temporarily happy, but I wasn’t eternally content.
However, at the end of my spring semester, I realized how desperately I needed to fill the gaping hole in my heart with what would truly fill me up. Mid-May I found myself completely alone. I had found my identity in things other than Christ. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t see Caroline, the girl who is redeemed, cherished by her Creator, and completely adored by her Heavenly Father. I saw a girl who put all her faith in a boy, a career, and an outward image. A girl gripped with insecurities she couldn’t possibly let the world see. A girl with no true identity.
But my burdens weren’t enough to keep me from Him.
At the end of my spring semester I was completely alone, and in the midst of my despair I turned to my Creator for guidance, healing, and hope. He welcomed me with open arms, and soon He blessed me immensely.
God gave me the friends I’ve been praying for years for. He brought God-fearing women with beautiful hearts for His Kingdom into my life just when I needed it most. I’ve experienced some of the deepest of belly laughs and most authentic conversations with these ladies, and I thank God every day for them. Their passion, intellect, ambition, and joy are so inspiring. He delivers who you need, right when you need them, to stand by your side.
My Savior has blessed me in so many ways throughout this season of complete joy and hope. He has shown me that He truly does deliver when I serve Him. God has said yes to me in this season, and I am so excited to serve Him in His providence.
Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.